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i bought a digital camera just to take better pics of my poop. you might think that i'm crazy for spending six thousand dollars on all the stuff that i need but it's gonna make everything good. it's gonna make my life so good. just wait and you'll find out. i swear to god this is what's gonna do it, this is gonna put me over the edge. six thousand bucks, i got a good digital camera plus a whole bunch of lenses, all really cool macroscopic lenses so i can get down in that bowl real close with my new digital camera, taking close-up pictures of my poop. i take close-up pictures of my poop. i take art pictures of my poop. i'm an artist, baby, a poopy artist and there's nothing you can do about it. i'm an artist with my poop. i take pictures close up of my poop and when you can see these pictures you're gonna go, "dang nora, those poop pictures are so amazing. i would pay you six thousand dollars for one of those amazing pictures of your poop. and it's so good, it's something so amazing, so amazing to look up to, and so honestly gorgeous and beautiful that i'm gonna hang it in my kitchen right over my dining table where my family eats every night, and every night we're gonna look up at that picture of the poop, and we're gonna say, 'that's what we're doing, and we're doing it for you. we're doing it for you, god.' we hold our hands and fold our hands and we say, 'we love the poop up there. we love the poop and we're so thankful that we get to do that every day.'"
i'm so glad that i bought this camera it totally changed my life
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2. |
I Eat Poop for Breakfast
01:49
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I like poop for breakfast yeah
I like poop for breakfast yeah
I like poop for breakfast yeah
I like poop for breakfast yeah
I’m gonna get my cereal bowl out oh yeah
but before I pour any cereal in there
I’m gonna pour my poop in that bowl
I don’t care what you say
nothing wrong with having it my way
and that’s
big bowl with milk and poop
I take my spoon and I
I mix it all up
I start eating it right into my mouth
cuz that’s what I like
that’s what I need
nutrition for me
nutrition for me yeah
I’m gonna live forever
I’m gonna live forever
I’m gonna live forever yeah
but don’t do that if you’re not me
I’m the only one who’s immune
to eating their own poop
and that’s the truth
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3. |
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when you squeeze down into a ball
where does all your poop go
does it explode outside of your suit
cuz I totally believe that they could
somehow invent a suit
to crush your body into a ball
but I bet before it happens
your bladder has to be empty
and your bowels have to be empty
and I really doubt that you could be squeezed
down into a ball with all of the poop and the pee
still inside you
I think it’s probably not possible
but maybe I guess it’s possible
there’s obviously artificial intelligence
and I don’t know
I mean
maybe it’s probably possibly
so I don’t even know
but I really wish you would find me, Samus
teach me your cool ways and stuff
I just wanna be tough like you
I just wanna know how you poo
I just wanna be tough like you
I just wanna know how you poo
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4. |
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there’s poop in my air conditioner
there’s poop stuck in my air conditioner oh no
who put it there I don’t know
I don’t know if it was some kid
I don’t know if it was a dog or cat or a bird
or who did it
there’s poop in my air conditioner and I
the only reason I know this is cuz
I can smell it in my house
yeah I can smell the poop
moving all throughout my air vents
and it’s in my nose and all up in my everything
I was just trying to take a nap
on a nice summer afternoon
when all the sudden my whole room
smelled like poop fumes
and I don’t know who did it
and I don’t know how to get it
out of my air conditioner
but I got one of those
backyard units where it’s
on the ground and it’s a big thing spinning and
I was looking down in it
and the whole thing’s splattered brown
yeah the whole thing’s splattered brown
well the whole inside is spattered brown
like somebody took a big
poop on top of it
they got up on top of my air conditioner
and just pooped right down into my air conditioner
and then the fan turned on
and it splattered it everywhere
so somewhere somebody’s probably got
all their pants and their butt covered with
poop from the fans of the air
on my
who pooped on my air conditioner
and if we just find that person
and catch them poop panted
then we can figure out
who’s gonna pay for somebody
to clean this poop
out of my air conditioner
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5. |
Leave No Poop Trace
01:40
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one time I dug a hole
by Lake Superior
in a safe place in the woods
and in that hole
I buried my poop really far down
and I left no trace yeah
Minnesota’s a great place to poop
especially if you’re pooping in the woods
Minnesota’s a great place to poop
especially if you’re pooping in the woods
Minnesota’s a great place to poop
especially if you’re pooping in the woods
some places in the woods
along the North Shore
they’ve even got toilets
that are just kinda hanging out
in the woods
they’ve got nothing over them
there’s no walls
it’s just a toilet seat
and there’s a hole dug in the ground
and that’s where you poop
just a hole dug in the ground
in the open air
just a toilet seat there
and honestly it’s really comfortable
and really nice
you get to poop in the woods
sitting on a comfy toilet seat
listening to all the birds chirping around you
letting the sun warm you up
yeah it’s really nice
I hope I get to poop in Minnesota again someday
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6. |
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I spent four long years
studying how to poop
I spent so much money
now I got so much debt
all these long years just
learning about poop
I learned about all different kinds of poop
all different kinds of poop
I learned
I learned so much
I learned so much
they said, “Hey Nora,
you can make a career
out of what you love”
and what I love is this
it’s this
it’s poop, poop, poop
poop
poop
poop
poop
spent all these long years trying to make it work
I just wanted to learn about poop
spent a long career trying to study poop
do productive things with poop
teach other people about poop
and the world pushed back
they said, “Hey girl, Nora
no, no, no, no, no
no, no, no, no
no, no, no, no, no
we don’t need this
we don’t need this”
and I said,
“Yeah you really do
you gotta know
all about poo”
I got a Bachelor’s Degree in poop
I wanna get a Master’s Degree in poop
I wanna be a PhD of poop
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7. |
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I take my poop seriously baby
it’s like my job
well I take my poop so serious
it’s almost like my job
I take poop seriously baby
oh baby I poop seriously poopy
I take my poop seriously baby yeah
it’s like my job
I poop seriously baby uh huh oh yeah
like my job
it’s so serious
I poop poop so seriously
pooping seriously pooping
I poop seriously baby
it’s like my job
it’s so poopy
poop poop seriously
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8. |
My Poop Is Beast
01:09
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the mark of my poop is the six of the beast
and the beast of the poop
is where I like to live
I like to live in the brown town
beast is poop
and my poop is beast
with my yeasty bread loaf
and the mark of the beast
is the mark of my poop
and the poop of my mark
is the beast of my life
and my life is based
on the beast of my poop
and the poop is all I have anymore
I don’t have anything anymore
except what I got in my poop yeah
I took all my money out of savings
and I invested it in my poop
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9. |
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all my hard drives were lost in the storm
I have so many hard drives
with precious memories and precious projects
I forgot to back em all up
I forgot to make a second copy
of all my hard drives
I was always thinking I’d do that one day
they all got caught in the storm
caught in the poop storm
caught in the poop storm
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10. |
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I made a poop pie in my toaster oven
I made a poop pie in my lol
lmao
I made a poop pie in my toaster oven
that’s what I get for loving poop
I mixed up all the ingredients in a measuring cup
in a big ol’ measuring cup
smelled good
and it smelled like
I made a poop pie in my toaster oven yeah
that’s what I get for loving poop
yeah poop poop poop pie
poop pie yeah
I made a poop pie in my lol
I made a poop pie in my lmao
that one’s for you
you can keep that poop pie
that one’s for you
cuz you’ve been a good friend to me
that one’s for you
that poop pie right there is for you
there’s a lot of molasses in that poop pie
there’s a lot of maple syrup in that poop pie
I’m gonna eat so many
so many poop pies
I’m gonna eat a poop pie every day
until I die
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11. |
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Samus is so cool
where does she poop on her spaceship
yeah I don’t know
but I’d really like to know
I wish she would show me where she poops
on her spaceship in the Metroid
on her spaceship in the Metroid
where does she poop
where does she poop
does she poop inside her spacesuit
does she poop inside her spaceship
does her poop in her spaceship
go blast out into the universe
oh Samus you’re the coolest
and I love you so much
I wish you would teach me
how to be really cool and tough
yeah and I wanna hangout and poop with you
hey yeah Samus you and I should poop together
and Samus I don’t know what you’re up to
or if you even exist in my timeline
but if you do I love you
and I look up to you so much
and I always have and yeah
if you wanna hangout and poop just call me
you can probably
find me with the technology you have
find me with the technology you have
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12. |
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that’s right I did it yeah
I hacked into your 808
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
I hacked into your 909, girl
I hacked right into your 606
I hacked right into all your samplers
all your Elektrons
and all of your other stuff
your Korg
your Cheetah
your Roland
everything, baby
I hacked into that, bro
yeah I did I hacked into that
and I replaced all the samples
with samples of me pooping
all your drum machines are belong to me
all belong to poopy me
I got poop into your 808
and now it sounds like poop
I crawled through electricity yeah
I put samples in your Rytm
I put samples in your ESX
and in your 808 I changed the analog modeling
now everything just sounds literally like
farts and poop
that’s what I do to you
I broke all the drum machines
and now you’ve gotta hire me
to play drums or to fix the drum machines
cuz I got the master key
so don’t send this back to manufacturer
cuz they can’t do anything
I got the master key
so if you want
drums on anything
you gotta pay me $5,000
and I’ll fix your 808
or I’ll just record drums for you
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13. |
Baby Poop
01:01
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baby poop yeah
baby baby baby baby
baby poop yeah
baby poop yeah
baby baby baby baby
baby poop yeah
all that cute poop right there is my baby’s poop
poop right there is my baby’s poop yeah
baby poop
that’s what I like in my life
baby poop
that’s what I like stuck in my eyes
it’s in my eyes and I can’t see
driving around the city and
crashing crashing crashing
into everything I see
baby poop that’s the one best kind
baby poop yeah
baby baby baby baby
baby poop yeah
baby poop yeah
baby baby baby baby
baby poop lol
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14. |
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I wish me and Flea could poop together
you know, Flea in Chrono Trigger yeah
I wish me and Flea could poop together
I think it would be so good for Flea
to just totally get away for awhile
for awhile me and Flea
you and me together
hanging out
walking around
you look so good all the time
it doesn’t matter what day it is
and it doesn’t matter
what gender people think you are
you just look good
you even look good when you’re pooping
I can’t believe it
you just always look amazing
and I love you so much
I wish you would teach me your ways
I wanna be beautiful like you, Flea
pooping every day
why don’t you come hangout with me
and we can poop together?
and then we can go make out
and then poop some more
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15. |
Poop Is a Crystal
01:52
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yeah that smart guy taught me how
taught me how to make
all this cash off my poop
and then he told me
told me how
“yeah poop is a crystal too”
yeah and then I put the crystals
down into the Earth
and it started to grow and crystallizing
crystallizing out in concentric circles
underneath the ground
and all sorts of weird stuff started growing out of it
underneath the ground though
it wasn’t above the ground though
it was just beneath the ground though
it was just down inside the Earth
and inside the Earth all the crystals grew
crystals grew out of my poop
they were worth so much money
they’re all a commodity
poop is a commodity
they’re all a commodity
my poop is a commodity
it’s worth so much money
in this abstract thing we call “money”
and inside the Earth it became
very not abstract
because all of the crystals started
creating artificial intelligence
out of technology that it sapped
out of the space universe
all of the technology was already
floating through the space waves yeah
and the crystals knew how to grab it
they grabbed all of the tech
and they turned it into something totally different
they turned it into a whole bunch
of tiny minds that came together
to one hive mind
And it lives inside the Earth even today.
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16. |
All You Can Poop
01:54
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I got a new membership
taking care of all my needs yeah
now I can poop all I want
I can poop all I want
I got this card over here yeah
this card says I am allowed yeah
all you can poop
all you can poop
I got what I want
I got what I need
all you can poop
they said,
“how many times do you want?
do you want one poop
two poop
three poop
more poop”
I said,
“I don’t know how many times I want
but it’s a lot more than that
I don’t know
I can’t count how many times
I’m gonna poop in my life
cuz I don’t know how many
poop days I got left”
and they said
“well we got just the right thing for you
yeah we got
all you can poop yeah”
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17. |
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would you call my poop retro?
would you call my poop vintage?
I think it’s nice poop yeah
would you call my poop retro?
would you call my poop vintage?
I think it’s nice poop yeah
but that’s just my opinion
this poop is nine million years old
and I want ten million dollars
this poop is nine million years old
I want ten million dollars
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18. |
Minnesota Poops
01:00
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yeah Minnesota everybody’s pooping yeah
yeah Minnesota everybody’s pooping yeah
in Minneapolis and all over
I used to live in Minnesota
might live there again someday
but every day I’m not in that state
I wish I was pooping on their license plate
I wish I was pooping in Minneapolis
I wish I was pooping in Duluth
yeah Minnesota everybody’s pooping
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19. |
Best Poop of My Life
01:25
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that was the best poop of my whole life
no poop is ever gonna top that poop
that was the best poop of my whole life
nobody’s ever gonna top that poop
and I’m saying it
I’ll say it
literally the best poop of all time
you could line up all the good poops
all the good poops that were ever done
and nobody would beat mine
and I love a good poop
I’m always thinking about how
to improve my poop
I changed my diet to make it smell worse
I changed my diet to make it feel better
I changed my diet to make the bowl totally explode lol
I love to poop and that was the best poop ever
I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to top that poop
Now I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life
it all seems pointless
gonna just have to get back to the drawing books on this
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20. |
My Poop Is Still Here
01:27
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I heard you’re wondering if I’m still here
I don’t know but I know my poop is still here
have you seen my poop?
it’s still here
it’s still here somewhere
my poop is still here yeah yeah
yeah my poop is still here yeah
yeah my poop is still here
my poop poop is still here
my poop is still here
my poop
my poop is still here
it’s still here
my poop poop is still here
it’s poop and it’s here
poop poop is still here
it’s poop and it’s here
my poop is still here
have you seen me?
I don’t know if I’m here
poop is still here
I don’t know if I’m here anymore
but my poop is still here
my poop is still here
say hello poop poop
hi
hi poop
you’re still here
hanging out over there
poop poop
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21. |
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poop storm destroyed all my hard drives
all my hard drives got covered in poop
totally swimming around in poop
the sky started raining down so much poop
and all my hard drives got corrupted forever
I tried to get em all fixed
but they were busted in their magnetics
I tried to get em all fixed
they were all busted busted busted busted
from the poop yeah
oh no I lost so many pictures of my poop
cuz every time I poop I take a picture of it
and I had all that stuff on my hard drives
and now it’s all gone, lost to time
washed down the brown river of time
washed down the brown river of time
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Second Channel Glendive, montana
trying to fix my spaceship so I can get back home
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